So firstly - it rhymes man! And not in a cheesy way either. Secondly, it just works in so many ridiculous ways that it just has to go on the list doesn't it?

‘Shaqqquuuiiilllllleeeee O'Neal', Hack Shaq, Shaq Attack, even Shaq Fu for goodness sake...

So, yeah, I had to eat some humble pie last night when Brian Joubert opened up that can of ‘walking the walk' I was talking about and won the European championships in superb fashion BUT... 

I couldn't give a rat's ass about that. Not while two far more exciting things were happening in the world of Figure Skating. 

At the moment Sarah Meier leads the field after the Ladies short programme in the Euro Champs, which could mean her first big time gold medal. Also my main man Johnny is less then a point behind that slimy SOB Evan Lysacek after the men's short programme in the U.S. champs. 

Ok, ok so we all know that Evan Lysacek is an immensely talented and young and good looking dude blah, blah, blah, but despite all that he can just kiss my ass ‘cause I hate him alright? How's that for well balanced, unbiased sports reporting? 

The good thing is that Lysacek doesn't stand a chance in the free programme and if Weir can smash him out the way for his Fourth U.S. Gold while Sarah Meier takes the Gold across the pond, why then all my figure skating dreams will have come true. 

Except the one where I'm getting it on with Meier whilst Weir records it on my camcorder. But I better not mention that one. Oops!