So Arsene Wenger is apparently in no rush to update the Gunners front lines

I mean yeah he’s got a while before the transfer season ends but he’s making no effort to strengthen the team. Arsenal made around 40M from the sales so far, mainly Kolo Toure and Emmanuel Adebayor.

"I feel we are strong enough but if we can add then we will do it"                               Wenger told the club's official website.

"In England, people think all problems can  be sorted out by buying players."

Well yes Wenger, that maybe the case but,    if your going to sell two of your great  players and not replace them you might as well shoot yourself in the foot.

Its rumoured that Arsenal have been looking into a few players this summer but Wenger says the club are not "close to signing anyone at the moment".                     Get off the warm milk and drink some coffee, or at least wake up and smell it.

This man is either a Genius or an Idiot, but with no real statements he is keeping it under wraps for now.

“There it is Sports Fans!”

Why do they play cricket in England?

The third test in the Ashes series is due to get underway later today, but ‘torrential rain’ has threatened to delay proceedings.

Hmm… ‘proceedings’. What a weird word that is. I like how it sounds when it comes out of my mouth but at the same time it’s kind of posh and annoying isn’t it? ‘PROceeeeedings…’ Actually, now I come to think of it, fuck ‘proceedings’. What exactly is a ‘proceeding’ anyway?

In any case, whatever a proceeding is, a whole group of them could well be held up by rain today. Which, for the English, is annoying and pleasing both at the same time.

Currently, England are one up on the Aussies after a strong showing from their bowlers in the last test. With three to play it’s still up in the air. But such has been the dominance of the tourists over the last 20-odd years, that England still feel the threat of impending defeat. The Australians are nowhere near as good as they used to be and England have every chance to retake the Ashes, but with more rain meaning more draws, England fans will still be relieved to see playing time shortened.

However, if like me you’re an annoying, shit-eating, optimistic bastard, you won’t be doing any rain dances. Because unlike Argentina, England ARE good enough to win without the Hand of God. Unfortunately, should the final three tests become washed out draws, the Aussies will once again claim that England only won because of the weather.

But you know what my friends from down-under? That’s why they call it HOME FIELD FUCKING ADVANTAGE.

[BBCSport]

"I've said over the years that British sprinters are very lazy and don't really want to practise," says former world record holder Asafa Powell.

Now, is it just me, or does anyone else think that's a bit rich coming from a Jamaican? I mean, Jamaica, renowned for being the world's most laid-back country...hardly a nation you'd expect to be particularly industrious! And so, was it hard graft that made Asafa the phenomenon he is today? I think not...

Powell hails from Spanish Town - in recent years this former Jamaican capital has also earned itself the title of Murder Capital. During August 2004 the town averaged 4 murders a day. Faced with this kind of statistic is it any wonder that the town's inhabitants run bloody fast?

Anyone care to tell Linford Christie, Colin Jackson, Sally Gunnell or Daley Thompson that they're lazy? They'd wave their Olympic medals in your face (er, Colin wouldn't do this as he's far too nice...and didn't actually win one, but he was world record holder). And along with Linford, how about sub 10 second sprinters Jason Gardner, Dwain chambers and Mark Lewis-Francis (let's ignore that faulty wind gauge shall we)? OK, maybe Team GB does struggle to compete against the best Jamaica and the US can throw at us, but it's not from a lack of trying.

So let's consider the obstacles Britain's valiant sprinters have to overcome.

The legacy starts in school. If you're a Brit reading this now, let me ask you, just how much encouragement did you get from your PE teacher in school? I've always loved sport but have never been gifted in this field. What I lacked in talent I more than made up for in enthusiasm. That was, however, until it was knocked out of me by my school's head of sport, Mrs Lynch. During a tennis lesson one dreary summer's afternoon it was pointed out to me in front of the whole class that my tennis racket hung by my side like a piece of limp knicker-elastic. Hmmm, ridicule, always guaranteed to bring out the best in a child...

The dismal British climate isn't exactly conducive to electrifying track times. Caribbean sprinters can expect their winter training to take place in around 8 hours of sunshine with temperatures averaging 29C. On a winter's day in London you can expect just 2 degrees, howling gales, permadrizzle and an average of just one hour's sunshine - I can feel the rickets setting in now...

Didn't your granny always tell you to wrap up warm? Well those thermal underpants really start to chafe when you reach speeds over 10 metres per second. And it's a scientific fact that wearing thermals can cause an average reduction in speed of 0.012m/s. That's a loss of a whopping 1.2 seconds over 100m!

To my mind British sprinters deserve a medal for simply turning up having overcome such colossal adversity.

You can call us beer-swilling, uncultured, pie-eating, unwashed lardy-arses.

But lazy?

No, I'm not having that Mr Powell!

For some reason, road cycling finds itself less interesting then the stories written about it in the media. That was almost certainly the case in this years Tour de France, which was won by Spain’s Alberto Contador. (Cool name, btw…)

The ongoing playground spat between Contador and seven time winner Lance Armstrong was well documented throughout the race but you would expect once the winner was decided, that the teammates would let it go, shake hands and move on. Not so.

Contador is reportedly furious with Armstrong for criticising his race strategy. Which leaves me with just one question… Really?

"My relationship with Lance Armstrong is zero," Contador told a news conference in Madrid.

"He is a great rider but it is another thing on a personal level, where I have never had great admiration for him and I never will."

Nice. I mean come on Alberto, you beat the guy, you proved your strategy was solid and everyone knows you won’t be riding together next year, isn’t that enough? Clearly not.

Thankfully Armstrong took the high road, so we won’t have to put up with this story much longer.

“I think this year's performance would have beaten my performances in 2001, 2004 and 2005,"

"Contador is that good, so I don't see how I would have been higher than that, even in the other years."

Personally, I think the real issue here is how stupid a rivalry this is though. Contador is 26 and at the peak of his career. Armstrong is 37 and only came back to the sport ‘cause he had shit all else to do (er… one assumes). Ah well, at least it gave cycling journo’s the chance to write about something other than substance abuse for a month…

[BBC Sport]

Good news for anyone out there who followed STN back in our er… ‘glory’ days. In short – we’re back.

But this time we’re here to stay! With two new hilarious bloggers on board (and a third on the way), STN will once again be bringing you all the unnecessary sports banter you can handle.

From this week STN will be updating regularly with the usual drivel you probably associate with that degenerate halfwit Sanchez, as well as regular contributions from fresh faced Redneck Ryu and the Sexy Track Girl. We’ll also be adding regular podcasts and a whole new feature called ‘Down The Bookies’, which will be based on real life experiences.

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