Why do they play cricket in England?
The third test in the Ashes series is due to get underway later today, but ‘torrential rain’ has threatened to delay proceedings.
Hmm… ‘proceedings’. What a weird word that is. I like how it sounds when it comes out of my mouth but at the same time it’s kind of posh and annoying isn’t it? ‘PROceeeeedings…’ Actually, now I come to think of it, fuck ‘proceedings’. What exactly is a ‘proceeding’ anyway?
In any case, whatever a proceeding is, a whole group of them could well be held up by rain today. Which, for the English, is annoying and pleasing both at the same time.
Currently, England are one up on the Aussies after a strong showing from their bowlers in the last test. With three to play it’s still up in the air. But such has been the dominance of the tourists over the last 20-odd years, that England still feel the threat of impending defeat. The Australians are nowhere near as good as they used to be and England have every chance to retake the Ashes, but with more rain meaning more draws, England fans will still be relieved to see playing time shortened.
However, if like me you’re an annoying, shit-eating, optimistic bastard, you won’t be doing any rain dances. Because unlike Argentina, England ARE good enough to win without the Hand of God. Unfortunately, should the final three tests become washed out draws, the Aussies will once again claim that England only won because of the weather.
But you know what my friends from down-under? That’s why they call it HOME FIELD FUCKING ADVANTAGE.
[BBCSport]