There are way too many goddamn cats in my ‘burb. Seriously, they’re everywhere. Just when I think I’ve seen them all, I spot a new one prowling around or shitting on my lawn. It’s like the felines of the world have chosen my neighbourhood to get together and plan their world domination.
This morning I saw two of the bastards fucking on my driveway. I was torn between weird fasination and the base desire to yell ‘HEY! QUIT FUCKING ON MY DRIVEWAY YOU FURRY BASTARDS!’
And speaking of fucking pussies, can we talk about Tom Brady for a second? Just about every bookmakers this side of Venus (even the ones in Quadrant 5), have the New England Patriots as their favourite to win the Superbowl. This single fact alone convinces me that, when it comes to football, bookies are all a bunch of bandwagon tossers who just don’t have a clue.
How can a team that missed the playoffs last year (yeah, yeah 11-5 whatever, a miss is still a miss you swine), be considered favourites to win the whole deal? Apparently Brady’s comeback is so bright and shiny that we’re supposed to miss the glaring holes in the defense. Are we seriously supposed to believe that Belicheck and the ‘almighty’ patriots won’t miss two time pro-bowler Rodney Harrison or long time leader of the defense, Mike Vrabel? When I have this conversation with Patriot fans they like to point out that ‘Tedy Bruschi’s still there!’ Bruschi is fucking 36 years old and only managed 12 starts last year for crying out loud. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU FUCKING PEOPLE?
Have we forgotten that old saying “Offense wins games, defense wins championships” (a philosophy that was proved right only last year by the Pittsburgh Steelers)? Well guess what, Leigh Bodden and Shawn Springs were not the two cornerbacks they were thinking of when that little ditty was invented.
Alright, Tom Brady is back. That’s a big deal, I get it. But do we honestly expect him to be anywhere near as good as before? This is a 32 year old quarterback coming off a year out of football with a recovering knee. I mean, is it just me? Am I the only one in the universe thinking that maybe, just maybe, he might not be the second coming that Pat fans seem to think he will be this year?
Maybe this is all just brutal homerism, but aren’t you getting sick and tired of this mainstream adulation for a team that’s clearly in decline?
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You know, this could have probably been quite a decent, well researched argument had I been able to stop ranting for a second there. Ah well…